Giving good feedback
- Specific behavior. "You interrupted three times in the architecture review." Not "you're too aggressive."
- Impact. "The two engineers stopped contributing for the rest of the meeting."
- Change. "Try counting to five after someone pauses before adding to the conversation."
No surprises
Anything in the formal review should have been said in 1:1s months earlier. Surprise feedback at review time is the manager failing — they should have surfaced concerns the moment they were forming, not stockpiled them for the once-a-year ritual.
↳ the strengths trap
Reviews that focus only on areas-for-growth crush high-performers. Reviews that focus only on strengths leave weaknesses unaddressed. Both should be specific. Generic praise ("great team player") is as useless as generic criticism.
Getting feedback
Receive feedback by listening fully before responding. Ask clarifying questions. Resist the urge to defend or contextualize in the moment — even when you have legitimate context. The vulnerability earns honesty next time.