Cialdini's six (plus one)
- Reciprocity — people return favors. Help others before you need help yourself.
- Commitment / Consistency — people honor public commitments. Get a small public yes; the bigger ask follows.
- Social proof — people follow what similar others are doing. "Three of your peer teams have signed off" works.
- Authority — people defer to credible expertise. Citing the right source matters.
- Liking — people say yes to those they like. Spend time on relationships before you need them.
- Scarcity — people want what's limited. "The window for this decision closes Friday" (when true).
- Unity (added 2016) — shared identity. "We engineers" is more powerful than "you engineers."
↳ the manipulation problem
Cialdini explicitly warns against using these principles dishonestly — fake scarcity, manufactured social proof, or phony authority. Used dishonestly they work once, then the relationship is over. Used honestly they're how trust builds over years.
The PM's daily moves
- Reciprocity — when an eng team unblocks you, surface it publicly to their manager. Banking goodwill.
- Commitment — "Can we agree the goal is X?" Once they agree, the next ask is consistent with that agreement.
- Social proof — "Teams A and B already adopted this approach; here's what they learned."
- Liking — care about the people. Remember names, ask follow-up questions, show up to their demos.